Kneel and pray

Hai, im Carolin. For those who dont know me, im a health science student who pursue diploma in pharmacy =) I have to deal with patients and disease in my future. I have to save people from death. I have to make sure my patient is compliance so and so. 

A sudden thinking of am i suit with this field? The more i further study, the more i consider. Im not a genius, i cant memorize all the things i've learn especially the drugs name as well every details of it. Same goes to our body characteristics and functions. Though it related to our bodies but our body system really complicated, too many details things, oh God, how genius you are, created such special human. I do can remember almost all the knowledge for the purpose of exam but it slowly fade after my exam. Do you facing this kind of problems? Ant skills to solve it?

Sometimes, study seriously really ruin my life and make my mind suffer. But i have to stay strong for everyone i love especially my family and the people who love me as well my future patients. And my enemies! I wont let you see i breakdown. 

Day pass day by day, time to posting in hospital is coming soon. Distress follow me everywhere now. Uneasiness drift in my mind, keeps remind me that i have to deal with lot scenes that i never face. Can i handle all those new things? Im afraid i cant do it. What the tasks i need to do during posting? Stock checking? Prescribing? Compounding?  I've no ides. So much superior there, are you kind and friendly? Or you are a cruel and unfriendly? I poor in observing people. Hard for me to understand different kinds of people. Smile got a lot meaning. Some smile from deep inside the heart but some smile evilly. I cant decide whether you are my friends or enemy by judging a smile unless you challenge me face to face. 

My brain is so square. I found it hard to link there and here. I hope i can react spontaneously to avoid all  awkward moments, react with every questions from patients as well others around me so and so. Who willing to train my mind work effectively? Need it badly :( Oh my dear patients, wish you guys are kind enough too, dont make me in trouble. Im still new, without any experiences.

What i can do is, kneel and pray =) 

Her big day

Happy birthday, Jac pig!

Celebrating her birthday on Tuesday. =) Frankly speaking, we are getting closer after transfer to sabah. That's a reason behind and it's a long sad stories. I appreciate the friendship we have now. You bring a lot happiness for me as well. Thanks for being part of my life =)  And we are the best shopaholic partner :P 

Having ice-cream to pass the time before enter cinema =)

 Been "tou pai" by Jac pig 

Always too focus on doing my thing. ><

Avengers

So much handsome guys in the movie. Fall in love with them except Hault :D Wish our dream boy can be like them too :P 

 Some photo shooting inside cinema =)

Running like chasing by dog to toilet after finish watching Avengers :P  

Having PIZZA after movie.

Thanks again, JAC PIG! Thanks for sponsor our dinner. Supposed to be we are the one who sponsor you but you insist to do it. >< 

*傻猪，你有在关注我的部落格吗？好想知道...

第九夜

很多时候，一个人发现自己喜欢上一个人都是在跟他分别的时候，忽然见不到那个人才发现自己已经不知不觉对那个人产生了很强的依恋。傻猪，你在读吗？是的，我在说你，你知道吗？


一次的停电，让我们俩注意到对方的存在，偶然的眼神交流，偶然的微笑，让我们对彼此产生了感觉。感谢你，踏出了第一步-向我要手机号码，让我们有了进一步的发展与了解。暧昧从此在我们之间滋生，期待着它发芽。


喜欢上你，让我有点害怕，害怕得到你后又失去你。毕竟我们来自不一样的家乡，沟通难免也有点问题。两年的距离，性格上的差距，一切的一切都好担心。虽然只有两年，可是在感情上，我依然没有你成熟，还是一个需要被呵护的小女生。


事情往往发生得快去得也快。只有9天的时间，我们的关系突然变了，变得好快好突然。我们都不知道下一秒会发生什么事情，这句句子说的真对。在你告诉我“我觉得我们不适合”的那一刻，我真的傻住了。我心想，我是不是哪里做错了？女生都一样，事情发生了，第一个想到的就是“我做错了什么吗？”至今，我还在想，到底哪里出了问题，让我好矛盾。不管你跟我解释了什么，我还是没有办法接受，不是我不能接受事实而是这一切都太突然，真的，我没有办法承担。


傻猪，你知道吗，从来只有我拒绝男人，没有男人拒绝我，你是第一个拒绝我的人。我不怪你，你让我了解被拒绝后的感觉，谢谢你，让我成长了。那不是雪中红，那是血在流，被刺痛的心，好痛，你知道吗？男人们，对不起，伤了你们，现在我明白那感受了。


我好想知道，你是否在玩弄我的感情，我问了，你也回答了。谢谢你对我是真心的，至少我有那么一点的安慰。谢谢你告诉我，我伤心你也会伤心，但是我不知道你是在安慰我还是真的是心里话。虽然只有短短的9天，你让我觉得很开心，是你让那个忘了怎么笑的女生回来。可是，她又要离开了，离开没有欢笑的世界。


男人，你们常告诉我，我是个好女孩，样样都好，你们不配我，但是我不明白，为什么你们从不珍惜这个好女孩，改变自己，好让你们配得上我？是我不值得吗？


你对我说，我改变了你很多，希望那是好事吧。你说喜欢被我管，我想，我现在应该没资格再管你吧。我只想说，别抽烟了。


现在的我变得好没出息，好想找你但是我没有勇气，我害怕你不回我信息，怕你嫌我烦更害怕你因此而讨厌我。好希望你懂我在想什么，好希望你会主动找我，好希望好希望~


你不必觉得自责，在爱情里，本来就没有谁对谁错，只有谁不珍惜谁。就让一切顺其自然吧=)

Happy mama's day ♥

The only photo i have with my mum inside my phone memory card >< 

Mummy, I MISS U SO MUCH~~ Happy mother's day! ♥ 

Mummy,

I might not a good daughter, always make u disappointed, always do things wrong, always so emotional, shop a lot etc. Im sorry mummy, im a shopaholic, it hard to quit, sometimes it make me feel guilty. =( Thanks for never scold me about this, sometimes i really cant stop myself for buying the clothes i like :D I know u always worry about my relationship problem. Afraid it might affect my study. You always support me though your heart say no because just want me to be happy. And i know u feel so relieve after i break with him.You told me im still young, there are much more guys better than him waiting for me, focus on study first. Recently u are so worry about me again because i just knew a guy here. Advise me not to in a relationship with him, not to out with him, not to message him so often etc. Mummy, i want to tell u, DONT WORRY, i know what im doing, i will always be careful, i wont let him take any advantages from me, we are just friend, my mind still calm enough, i will do things right =) 

Mummy, i will play my own role well, its time for me to grow up stronger. Stay healthy and pretty =) Miss u a lot!

Photo shoot in fitting room =) 

Do u realize our shirts have "LOVE" ♥

Plan to out last minute because my friend wanna bank in at RHB Bank. Spent my day at One Borneo again. We are really bored of it. Almost every week go there. Shop the same shop every time. I think worker there also boring seeing us go there every time but didnt buy anything =)

Mummy, I LOVE U!!

Assignment + Shopping

Top from Cotton On. Currently fall in love with Cotton On. Consider affordable. Like this design. 

Off to Starbucks with my girlfriends last Saturday. Spent our time doing assignments there while enjoying our drinks ^^ Only have 3 subjects on this sem but it kinda busy because load of assignments given.

 4 in love ♥

  Starbucks member card. We have no idea of receiving this by no reason. Only one of my friends get it. 

 Fresh Brewed Tea-Chamomile, Green Tea Latte, Americano, CarMacchiato 

 Start busying =)

Having some shooting after that :D

It happen when a person too insane to take picture and another is too busy with her stuff ><

Finish our drinks and RUN! 

Proceed to next activity --> SHOPPING =)

Going around and round and we stop at PADINI. Putting some cloth on your body inside fitting room doesnt a good task for girls. It make you more intense to buy it. But this time i control myself not to buy anything and i did it ^^ hehe~

Personally like this long dress. Wish to have it but cost RM 99.

Padini hide it up during the big sale which held from 28 APR - 1 MAY. Otherwise im going to buy it :(

 Feel like im going to the beach ^^

End of the day =)

Smile

It happened last Saturday. Should be have my dinner at home but my friends and i went to Legan Coffee Tea, one of the food stall inside One Borneo instead to have our dinner since we had finished our food stuffs. Seconds i almost done my dinner, someone accost me. My brain was blank and didnt know what respond should i gave to him. My phone number had past to him by my friend with no reason while i still stare blankly. Next seconds,we became friend. Its my first time someone accost me. He told me that he aware of me because of my smile, feel so sweet when i smile. Honestly, im like flying in the sky once i knew it. Its my first time somebody told me about this.

Ever read sentence sound like "Never frown because someone might fall in love with your smile" So meaningful when the first time i read it. And i never expected that it will happens on me. Incredible. It works on me and tell me that i should always smile instead of frown =)

We never know what will happen on the next seconds. Why dont we fulfill our life happily? So start your new day with a smile =)

Random post

A girl who love HER FAMILY, love HER FRIENDS, love HELLO KITTY,  love PINK, love FASHION, love SHOPPING etc.

I think im bit addicted to blogging nowadays. Quite often you can saw me blogging recently. It's incredible that been awhile i didnt even touch my laptop. Should thanks to those assignments otherwise i wont touch it and there is no any updated on my blog.

Blogging is fun,it can share what i want but somehow irritating with it due to my poor vocab and grammar, its suck. I wish my english can improve faster. Im envy with those whose english is damn good. Do their any tips?

Start countdown for Gawai holiday because it the day that i meet the people that make me laugh a little brighter, smile a little brighter and  live a little better =). Its my family, they coming to Sabah having fun with me. Not only excited to meet them but also look forward vacation with family here. That the repercussion of knowing the good news too fast. Hehe~

Its 2.53am. So early right? :D Good morning and good night at the same time ♥ 


Love

Time to let go

Let it fall, my heart. It was dark and i was over. All those love was past and is time to let go of the past. Still, you have feeling towards me but its over, not because i dont love you but everything is over. 

Study, is the main reason that you always leave me.  You dread it will affect your study, so do i. Is that relationship will influence our study? Sigh, everything can be handle as long as you manage it properly. 

I ever said i will wait for you but without your knowledge, now i decide to let go everything and step forward. Somehow im tire waiting for you, it hopeless actually. Hope is everywhere but i never know where is it. Never give up though it seem hopeless but, this time i give up because i know i deserve for better one. Boost my self confidence and i will find someone better than you. God will place my hands on the man who he believes deserve it =)

I wish nothing but the best for you too. I'll never forget and keep it as part of memory. 

Skeleton

Shooting at Mock Pharmacy

Kissing ♥

This is the consequence when you are the last person leaving the class =) Crazy snapping with skeleton. Am i look alike? Same weight and same height? :P Sometimes we do need did something crazy to wipe away our stress right? :D 

Sigh, this sem is super busy with all assignments. Everyday need to touch loads of works. Mad with research, it my first time and my lecturer has high expectation on my group. Is that good? I just afraid that i'll make u disappointed sir :( Luckily it's a group work otherwise i have no idea how to handle all these stuffs. Well, dead line of my proposal is around the corner. Got to struggle for it. Good luck :D Have a nice day, readers. *Although i know there is less people reading my blog

Reality bites

Its perfectly normal not to be besties with everyone. Reality bites, and we all know how good it feels to get all that angst off your chest. We are not superheroes, and so it can be awful finding out that someone is whispering nasty things or trying to devastated your friendship behind your back. Is that my life more interesting than yours or jealousy killed you? The enemy is at large and you never know who is going to backstab or make use of you. Sometimes, i believe lies, only lies can make me believe no one but myself. The best thing i can do is keep my eyes open so that no one can see i breakdown. Backstabber, you should be prepared for a loss of respect and trust, or to have a similar situation happened to you if you are caught speaking ill of someone behind. 


Everything change when you step out from your house, and even worst when enter into workforce. None will care about you, there is no interaction among colleagues, only projects allow you time to interact. Im dread to enter work field, there is much more things that i cant figure out. 


Dont make your life sophisticated. Simple always the best way lead you to happiness. 

Blackout in Sabah

The Capacitive Voltage Transformer at the Penampang Main Intake Substation which exploded and triggered a blackout throughout Sabah and Labuan since 3.23am Monday,30th of APRIL 2012. 

Im Malaysian from Sarawak but currently study at Sabah, so, im one of the victims who suffer this blackout. I been awake around 4.30am due to the hot temperature in my room. Sweating like the hell and breathless. Get mad when you are undergo rapid eye movement where most dreaming occurs. I might undergo stage 3-4 of deep sleep which is very difficult to wake me up due to slow heart rate and breathing, and loss of skeletal muscle tone. Argh~ damn it, hot weather success to wake me :(

Suppose to had my first test on Pharmacology 3 but its been postponed to next Mon because of blackout. It is a good news or bad news? Been prepared so much and ready for it but receive a message that the test is postpone at last minutes. Totally take me back from the sleepy mode. Hee~  

 Sitting at McD in the dark. Another new experience. Do u ever experience it? :D

Another view from McD.  Well,certain areas light up but not all.

Failed to cook due to the blackout so went to ONE BORNEO with my lovely to have our lunch. Took photo during the dark. =)

1st of MAY - Labour day.  BIG DAY for all employees. I'm celebrating labour day too because im employed as student =) Everyone is so excited with this holiday so do i since everywhere having BIG SALES. You can see all the promotion signs hanging there and here. Its a great news for a shopaholic like me :] BUT... the things happen opposite here. Damn it blackout happen again. I bet most of the shopping malls facing financial loss. Everyone desire to enjoy the BIG SALE especially the girls ^^ and every employers desire to gain more profits but everything turned upside down. No current, no customers, no earning and no foods as well >< 

Mirror always the best instrument for me to take photo after using touchscreen cell phone. 

New top from VOIR. Bought it last friday. Feel so lucky that i went to shopping earlier because MEMBER WEEK was started. As a member of VOIR, i can enjoy much more discount than others, that's my pleasure :D 

Shooting when my friends in fitting room.

Another shot XD

Went to ONE BORNEO last saturday because of sale in PADINI. Spent a lot there but mostly for my family. Only bought one simple white  top for myself. 

3 of us again. :D

Do you realize another new set of outfit? XD Yea,going to ONE BORNEO yesterday again. Very often u can hear im going to 1B because that is the nearest shopping mall from my hostel, around 5-10 minutes. Another blackout happened again. It damn hot and we got to flee away from the hostel. Fortunately, current come back when we reach 1B. Enjoy so much with the cool temperature =) It sure awful for a guy to spent so many days with his girl on shopping and that's the reason why we need GIRLFRIENDSSSS~ XD

Enjoy so much with shopping. Sad part is spent too much and my purse is bleeding. Should quit being shopaholic. Really a bad habit for me ><

Good night and sweet dream everyone.